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Fri, 8 Feb ’13

Black Dynamite Wants You to Become a Model Citizen!

Holy cow – he kicks butt AND speaks Japanese!

We all know Black Dynamite is one seriously slick super sleuth, but did you know that this modern day Afro Samurai also speaks Japanese and takes the time out of his busy schedule to help citizens and criminals alike turn their lives around? Recently unearthed archival footage entitled “Black Dynamite Teaches a Hard Way” shows our debonair Dolemite stepping out from behind the silver screen and into the real world where schools his subjects on everything from “Disaster Safety” to “Kitten Rescue” in some of the sternest Japanese you’ve ever heard. The best part? You too can learn his Hard Way over on the Nerdist Channel in two epic segments that Emily Post can’t teach you. This is the kind of life experience that you just can’t learn from a book (you need a steely, streetwise ass kicker with a heart of gold and plenty of fist cartilage).

With moves straight out of Fist of the North Star, you may remember Black Dynamite-san from his 2009 film or his animated exploits on Adult Swim, but we sincerely doubt you’ve seen this side of him. In a series of ten shorts, you’ll learn how to de-knife assailants, punish those who don’t curb their dogs, prepare for earthquakes and much ore as Black Dynamite roams the urban environment seeking wrongs to correct. And he’s not just educating common ne’er-do-wells like that one guy in your building who won’t turn down his music. Even folks like “Rowdy” Roddy Piper stop by to help instruct us on “Local Commerce” while Roy “Country” Nelson and John Hennigan show us the “Method” for good citizenship. Now if we could just get Lindsay Lohan to enlist in his hard knock finishing school…

Thanks to the tireless efforts of our videographic archaeologists, you can reap the benefits of Black Dynamite’s tough love and life lessons. Heck, you might even pick up a Japanese phrase or two. Wasn’t brushing up on your kanji one of your New Year’s resolutions? See? Even when you least expect it, Black Dynamite and the Nerdist Channel have you covered. Being a Model Citizen has never been easier (or more painful) thanks to the iron-fisted tough love of the baddest brother in town.