Cobra Seeks Recruits with Bite

Because the opposition is the pits – go Cobra!

Let’s face it: you’re better than the average Joe. So why put roadblocks on your path to success, taking silly gambles on hopeless odds and always coming up snake-eyes? Step into the eye of the real serpent and become a Viper for Cobra Special Forces. You can join America’s newest elite anti-terror force by enlisting at CobraSpecialForces.com. This squad is looking for a few good biters willing to arm themselves to the teeth to protect this nation from heavy-duty rogue elements who strike from hidden bases. Want to know more? Slither over to the Cobra Special Forces Facebook page to learn more about their command and check out their recruitment videos to see how you can help keep America safe.

We feel certain you’ll want to join up in a nanosecond, but if not, consider the other advantages: Cobra troopers get stylish blue uniforms, train alongside crocodiles and mutants, travel to exotic locations and pilot vehicles that are always equipped with the finest in operational ejector seats. You’ll even get a cool new name – “Doctor Mindbender” and “Firefly” are already taken, but there are plenty more in reserve that make you sound just as intimidating.

Are you ready to be more than a hatchling? Then the time has come to visit the official Cobra Forces website to see if you have what it takes and join your fellow cobra recruits at social events near you, but please ensure before signing up that you have no undue phobias of or relating to ninjas, redheads, bikers, grape soda, librarians, metal masks, professional wrestlers in drill instructor hats, or…this should go without saying…snakes. And whatever you do, be sure you pay no mind to rumors of rag-tag militias formed from the dying embers of obsolete armies. The chances of any kind of Retaliation aren’t worth considering. COOOO-BRAAAA!

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