Hello Weirdness: The Strangest Hello Kitty Tie-In Products
These gave us a real moment of paws.
Hello
Condoms: They
look like lollipops, which is horrifying in and of itself. They prominently feature a
small cartoon female cat, which is disturbing. They prevent the
spread of diseases and unwanted pregnancy, all in the name of kawaii and capitalism, so we guess it’s admirable and we’ll accept it.
Hello
Handgun:
Stop or my adorable pink kitty-themed gun will shoot! Though not
official Sanrio merchandise, enterprising (and scary) Kitty fans have
made an array of themed guns, ranging from small handheld models to AKitty47’s.
Hello
Chainsaw: For
the discerning lumberjack who is more interested in his personal
style than the amount of trees he (or she) fells in a day, this Kitty-themed, jewel-encrusted chainsaw is the most important tool in any
deforesters (Hello
Kitty) handbag.
Hello
Gravestone: Just
because a Kitty fan has passed on to the big cathouse in the sky doesn’t mean they ever need to stop showing the world their love of
all things cute and corporate. Rest in adorableness.
Hello
Sausages: Kitty
is a freak for meat, as evidenced in this very questionable but cute
food-stuff. We hope you brought an appetite, and a camera, so you can
snap hundreds of pictures of said appetite. We sincerely hope these
sausages are made of traditional sausage ingredients and not
something more aww-inducing.
Hello
Cigarettes:
Because the only thing easier than quitting is not quitting and
taking up the most irresponsibly marketed smokes of all time. Not even Hello Kitty can make lung cancer seem kawaii.